Coffee and Donuts

A weekly podcast about life and other very important things.
Hosted by your favorite online personalities Matt Cairns and Justin Allen

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  • Ep. 13: Totes!

    You’ve got to start somewhere, and teaching kids how to use hashtags is somewhere.

    Topics

    • The Podcasters Dilema
    • The World Cup
    • Nazi Germany
    • Is Sam Adams hipster?
    • Self-Serve Dog Wash
    • Matt makes excuses
    • Basic utilities
    • How the internet works
    • Matt’s dog updates
    • You can pee in the front yard
    • The house
    • Tips for stress free living
    • Vacation Bible School
    • German airplanes
    • Jason Fried again
    • Matt gets facts wrong
    • Covering up mistakes
    • Justin keeps it mellow
    • Selfies
    • Photos
    • The feet picture
    • What happened to Cory Matthews?
    • Turnt
    • Bae
    • Kids don’t know how to use hashtags.
    • Siri
    • Phone étiquette
    • Osiris G Bag
    • Toe Cap explained
    • Osiris D3
    • Don’t wash your jeans.
    • Matt hates tapas.
    • Tapas explained
    • Pho
    • Justin remembers hummus
    • The TSA suggests new shoes.
    • Breakfast tacos
    • Offsetting the hipster-ness
    • Justin gets a new cat
    • Playing with bats
    Download [MP3] - 013-Totes.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: July 8, 2014
  • Ep. 12: I Wouldn't Say You're Round

    It might help if we planned it out a bit more.

    Topics

    • Hot Topics
    • Pros and cons of being homeless
    • Relationship statuses
    • More on Matt’s new house
    • How home loans work
    • Sponsor break
    • Justin’s TV recap
    • Murdered
    • Matt takes a call
    • Road rage protocol
    • The dogs ruin things again
    • Dog fights explained
    • The Critique
    • Am I Coffee or Donuts?
    • Roderick on the Line - Link
    • Back to Work - Link
    • The Vision
    • The Pitch
    • Another bad ice cream incident
    • Craig T. Nelson - Link
    Download [MP3] - 012-I-Wouldnt-Say-Youre-Round.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: June 6, 2014
  • Ep. 11: I Have Llamas

    There’s rich, and then there’s llama rich.

    Topics

    • A public congratulations
    • Mixed gender raising
    • Making babies
    • Repeating
    • Google maps
    • Matt’s new house
    • Boy Scouts
    • The Wolf on Wallstreet - Affiliate link
    • This American Life: I Was So High - Link
    • Carefree Venereal Syndrome
    • Quarter of a million Dollars
    • Deborah is for real
    • Merch
    • The Ice Cream Binge
    • Old fashioned donuts
    • Donut Rising - Link
    • Justin’s surgery
    • Blood pressure
    • Keratin
    • Matt complains about being tired
    • Probably poor financial advice
    • Mother’s Day
    • Spider Man 2 - Link
    • Justin is just not in to Spiderman
    • X-Men
    • X-Men: Days of Future Past Trailer - Link
    • Movie Night
    • Sneaking candy into movies
    • Changing flights revisited
    • Justin misses a poorly executed National Lampoon reference
    • Popcorn vacuum
    • iMac in a coffee shop - Link
    • Justin meets a Mac Pro
    • iTackHammer
    • Dog poop etiquette
    Download [MP3] - 011-I-Have-Llamas.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: May 8, 2014
  • Ep. 10: Trains and Socialism

    A special live recording, where by “live” we mean, in the same room.

    Topics

    • A Pinterest Man Date
    • Chips
    • In person
    • Justin’s outfit
    • Profanity on clothing
    • Spay and/or neuter
    • Justin deals with an airline
    • Matt’s flight cancellation
    • #supertrain - link
    • Trains v. Planes
    • Anniversary
    • Vacation without Matt
    • Disney World
    • Downward dog
    • I can smell my own snot
    • Puremints Gingermints - Affiliate link
    • Dogs post operation
    • Dog pain threshold
    • Going to sleep for surgery
    • Correction Matt meant RadioLab when he mentioned This American Life
    • RadioLab - Decoding The Void
    • Justin has bumps on his scalp
    • Keeping your organs
    • Dental surgery
    • Allergies
    • The end of a friendship
    Download [MP3] - 010-Trains-and-Socialism.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: April 30, 2014
  • Ep. 9: It Was a Catholic Wedding

    Celebrating the parsley anniversary of our podcast.

    Topics

    • This is avant-garde
    • Strange man in the front yard
    • Name badge disguise
    • Trouble on the street
    • Telepathic warnings
    • Guess what? Bathroom stories.
    • Step Brothers - Affiliate link
    • Unfortunate hand dryer placement
    • Anniversaries?
    • Jewelry stores suck
    • A speck means you’re poor
    • Wedding and engagement rings
    • Coffee and Donuts Tech talk introduces the iWatch®
    • Email bragging
    • Back to Work - Link
    • Google Glass
    • Chrysler Concorde - Link
    • Virtual Boy - Link
    • Pebble - Link
    • Driving Curve - Link
    • Road rage
    • Matt’s hard parenting moment
    • Lima breans
    • Succotash
    • How to cook chicken
    • Cast iron skillets
    • Matt’s skillet - Affiliate link
    • Justin’s rough week
    • Wedding planning is stupid
    • Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby - Link
    • Matt says “track record” a bunch of times
    • The specials menu
    • Burgatory - Link
    • Road show
    • Sounds of death
    • Marc Maron - Link
    • WTF with Marc Maron - Link
    • Marc Maron Thinky Pain on Netflix - Link
    • Stand up comedy
    • Mitch Hedberg
    • Kyle Kinane - Link
    • Drunk frat-bro-dude
    • Awkward moment on spotify
    Download [MP3] - 009-It-Was-a-Catholic-Wedding.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: April 23, 2014
  • Ep. 8: Not Smart Enough to Work at SeaWorld

    If our education system focused more on the Gilligan Effect, and less on ‘rithmetic…

    Topics

    • Squeeky bottles
    • The White Palace
    • Becoming sentimental
    • Alcohol at weddings
    • Cookie tables - Link
    • Cake vs. Cupcake
    • Cassata Cake
    • Smoking inside
    • Trigger Happy TV - Link
    • Trigger Happy TV - Affiliate link
    • First day as coach
    • The whole point of the game is head trauma
    • Matt’s failed football career
    • A New Link Between Traumatic Brain Injury and Suicide - Link
    • Wresting
    • WWF/WWE Wrestling - Link
    • The Ultimate Warrior - Link
    • Tatanka - Link)
    • The Undertaker - Link
    • Koko B. Ware
    • The Bushwhackers - Link
    • Survivor Series - Link
    • “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan - Link
    • Justin and stats
    • ESPN Anchor
    • “Bostonites”
    • Tom Brady and Jason Fried
    • “Fartbleed”
    • Heartbleed - Link
    • 1Password - Link
    • Killer whales killing trainers - Link
    • I wanted to be Ritchie Valens
    • The Complete Ritchie Valens - Affiliate link
    • The Hold Steady - Link
    • Suckered into playing the tuba
    • Going to be the jazz kid
    • Beatniks aren’t real - Link
    • Matt reads Wikipedia again
    • Dobie Gillis - Link
    • My Three Sons - Link
    • I Love Lucy - Link
    • The Mary Tyler Moore Show - Link
    • The Dick Van Dyke Show - Link
    • Rhoda
    • Gilligan’s Island - Link
    • “The Gilligan Effect”
    • A call to rate the show and our friendship
    • What do you know about radon?
    • Mortal Kombat - Link
    • Radon - Link
    • Beef cattle master plan
    • Things finally get deep
    • Captain America: The First Avenger
    Download [MP3] - 008-Not-Smart-Enough-to-Work-at-SeaWorld.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: April 15, 2014
  • Ep. 7: That's a Boy with Some Hips

    None of this is anything like the book.

    Topics

    • We have coffee
    • 21 Day Sugar Detox - Affiliate Link
    • Justin’s big announcement
    • The announcement photo - Link
    • Matt’s less big announcement
    • Not afraid to admit I cry
    • OK, a little ashamed
    • Russell Crowe is enough of a reason
    • Propaganda
    • Comic book movies
    • Where’s DC
    • The Justice League
    • Kids love Superman
    • The Flash - Link
    • 77 Facts That Sound Like Huge Lies But Are Actually Completely True - Link
    • The Wonder Years - Link
    • Bob’s Burgers - Link
    • Lady Fantastic - Spotify
    • Lady Fantastic - iTunes
    • Dog fights again
    • Unfortunate celebrity look-a-likes
    • Ryan Dunn - Link
    • Spencer Pratt - Link
    • Bob Harper - Link
    • It was a nude man
    • Ashton Kutcher - Link
    • Jordan Pundik - Link
    • Jordan Buckley - Link
    • Jason Statham - Link
    • Kevin Federline - Link
    • Racial blindness / Cross-race effect - Link
    • Doppelgängers
    Download [MP3] - 007-Thats-a-Boy-with-Some-Hips.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: April 8, 2014
  • Ep. 6: My Spirit Letter

    Have you ever really sat down and counted all the stars. There’s a whole lot of them.

    Topics

    • Home renovations
    • Matt is high on polyurethane
    • Dog fights
    • Matt references a very wrong movie
    • Dances with Wolves - Affiliate link
    • The correct movie Whitefang - Affiliate link
    • Espresso
    • Living the bachelor life
    • Snapple
    • Home improvement projects
    • Puppies and ruin just about anything
    • The problem with swearing
    • Justin chases a dog around the streets
    • Matt’s dog attack story
    • Threes for iOS - Link
    • Walking Dead Game for iOS - Link
    • Bear vs. Shark - Link
    • Naming various parts of songs
    • Capo - Affiliate link
    • Guitar Center
    • We know a lot about guitar cords and electricity
    • Guitar stereotypes
    • Parenting introspection with Matt
    • Justin is living large
    • Neutral podcast - Link
    • Tires!
    • Corvettes in middle life
    • Vespa - Link
    • Stella - Link
    • The March Madness
    • A sad grudge for murder
    • Sports
    • Cholesterol
    • Two wrong bits
    Download [MP3] - 006-My-Spirit-Letter.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: April 1, 2014
  • Ep. 5: Deborah had Crazy Eyes

    You know who forgot to put the malt in your malt? That’s Deborah, and you can never be sure if she’s looking at you.

    Topics

    • Being podcast rich
    • Asparagus pee
    • What happens when you miss the moon?
    • Doctor Who - Link
    • Bates Motel - Link
    • Sled ramps
    • Are you invincible?
    • The kids menu
    • Malt explained
    • Appetizers
    • Friendlys - Link
    • Moms
    • The Rock-A-Thon
    • The problem with the Rocky statue - Link
    • The Hobo code - Link
    • Mad Men - Link
    • Mad Men Lawnmower Scene - Link
    • Breaking Bad - Link
    • Talking to the dental hygienist
    • OK, how much?
    • Industry talk
    • Are you listening Jason Fried?
    • Coach Matt
    • Professional Preschool Basketball
    • Assistant Coach Justin
    • Mom wars
    • Did cave people have toothbrushes?
    • Marks Daily Apple - Link
    • Vitamix - Affiliate Link
    • Jamba Juice - Link
    • Smoothie King - Link
    Download [MP3] - 005-Deborah-had-Crazy-Eyes.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: March 25, 2014
  • Ep. 4: Sharktease

    Don’t worry, we talk about bathroom activities again.

    Topics

    • The Lost Episode Paradox
    • The time of the bunny
    • Catholicism
    • The Easter Bunny
    • Cadbury Cream Eggs - Affiliate Link
    • Knowing spanish at a Mexican restaurant
    • Cadbury Cream Eggs on Wikipedia - Link
    • Kit Kat on Wikipedia - Link
    • Kit Kat - Affiliate Link
    • Kit Kat Chunky Bar - Affiliate Link
    • Mr Goodbar Full Size - Affiliate Link
    • Dairy Queen - Link
    • Quality toilet paper
    • Bidet vs Urinal
    • Bidet - Affiliate Link
    • How to wear a bathing suit
    • Couples shopping
    • Washing machine repair man
    • Have you ever gone scuba diving?
    • Swimming with carp
    • Koi ponds
    • Preemptive memorial tattoos
    • The sandwich maker
    • They know your order
    • Does the barista love you?
    • Office Keurig®
    • The midwestern white guy
    • The ordering curtsy
    • Double dipping
    • Fish fry
    • Aloha Matt
    • Kona coffee
    • Home roasting coffee
    • Hot Air Popcorn Popper - Affiliate Link
    • Sweet Maria’s - Link
    • Lego Justice League - Link
    • Lego Movie
    • Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer - Link
    • Meijer - Link
    • Fashion segment
    • “MYPRT”
    • NPR - Link
    • Star Wars Skateboards - Link
    • Paul Harvey - Link
    • We put off ending the show for a while
    Download [MP3] - 004-Sharktease.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: March 18, 2014
  • Ep. 3: Crop Rotation LLC

    This time, Justin and Matt talk about food, grooming, music, and pitch million dollar ideas to the shark tank.

    Topics Include

    • Grooming follow up
    • The McGriddle
    • Sheetz
    • Sriracha Nightmares
    • Sriracha - Affiliate link
    • Alternate Sriracha - Link
    • Bacon
    • Some Kind of Monster - Affiliate link
    • This is Spinal Tap - Affiliate link
    • Pink Floyd - Link
    • Jam bands
    • Singers
    • Cursive - Link
    • Against Me! - Link
    • Justin’s SLAP tear - Link
    • Luna bars
    • Justin pronounces apostrophes
    • Cliff bars
    • Matt’s eyebrow revelation
    • Roderick on the Line - Cravat Brush Holder Case - Link
    • Male grooming, again
    • Vanilla Ice Eyebrow - Image
    • Boy bands
    • Hair transplants
    • Jason Alexander and his people
    • Sharing things you’ve made
    • Matt’s podcast setup
    • “Are you wearing your jeggings?”
    • Money is no object to Justin
    • Justin’s coffee mug - Affiliate link
    • Matt’s coffee grinder - Affiliate link
    • Shoes
    • Will this show make people like me?
    • Global warming
    • We are not meteorologists
    • Jimmy Johns
    • Justin eats some questionable fish
    • Matt is chasing the hot dog
    • Squatty Potty - Link
    • Justin hates “eating clean”
    • Crop Rotation LLC
    • Cookie table - Link
    • Youngstown related speech impediments
    Download [MP3] - 003-Crop-Rotation-LLC.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: March 11, 2014
  • Ep. 2: Loofah Kid

    In this episode of Coffee and Donuts, Justin and Matt explain all the dos and don'ts of male grooming, then dig into parenting skills, and what to do if the world suddenly turns against you.

    Topics Include

    • Proper Beard Maintenance
    • Old Spice Illegal Neck Workouts
    • 12 Step Justin Scent
    • How to use soap
    • Should you be exfoliating?
    • Mustache Bedding - Affiliate Link
    • The beards of future past
    • Mustache sheet affiliate link
    • Going bald
    • Kingpin DVD - Affiliate Link
    • Kingpin Stream - Affiliate Link
    • Cool guy hair
    • How to dress children
    • An afternoon in a death trap for kids
    • Some kids are jerks
    • The Discovery Zone
    • How American Gladiators brought new life to monkey bars
    • Kid Justice
    • Guns
    • The end of the world
    Download [MP3] - 002-Loofah-Kid.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: March 8, 2014
  • Ep. 1: Puberty Ruins Armpit Farts

    In the first episode of Coffee and Donuts, Justin and Matt talk about losing skills as we age, the importance of rollerblading, and whether or not face tatoos are suitable for toddlers.

    Topics Include

    • Ibuprofin
    • Pepto Bismol
    • The Elevator Pitch
    • Eating apple cores
    • Public fruit
    • Kids as incubators of death
    • Backseat parenting
    • How to act at Guitar Center
    • What to do when you meet Yngwie Malmsteen
    • The Superbowl
    • Anthony Kiedis Tweet
    • Celebrity Net Worth: Anthony Kiedis
    • Justin’s Workshop
    • Video games
    • Too old for backflips
    • The problem is suction
    • 3 rules of being Justin’s kid
    • Kids and tattoos
    Download [MP3] - 001-Puberty-Ruins-Armpit-Farts.mp3
    Huffduff It
    Posted: March 8, 2014